How To Grow Closer To Your Siblings
This topic is heavily common but not talked about equally. Not having a close relationship with your siblings, especially as an older sibling, can lead to a certain type of guilt. However, the troubling part is not changing the circumstances or reaching out… it’s cutting down that divide in between.
Oftentimes siblings can push the buttons of boundaries that can pull you away from growing with them. Age difference can also contribute to the barrier. Let’s face it… just because you came out of the same vagina doesn’t mean every sibling has your personality. Every individual is unique in every way in how they process, how they feel, or how they communicate. Although, I specified each beat of differences… there are ways something that you can connect with your siblings. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself “Why don’t we have anything in common?”. Well, the question you should actually be asking… “Why haven’t I asked the right questions for my siblings to understand”? Again, asking the right questions is a key component to do in order in connecting with your siblings.
Now here’s a general way of connecting with your siblings. In my opinion, there are two ways of unraveling the true pieces of each individual’s life. Do they live by their emotions or logic? Both have different ways of perceiving the world. If someone were to live by their emotions… oftentimes they ask themselves “does this decision feel right for me”. Well, a logical person asks themselves “Why is this situation the way it is?” Two completely different roads which eventually meet the same grounds. Each individual has different connections and wires than others. Don’t treat others as if their system is the same.
The big question. “How can I connect with my siblings?” Time. Time and effort. The easiest thing to say, but the hardest act to follow. If your sibling thinks logically, ask logical questions. Ask them how they view the world. How they view people. How they view themselves. You can technically ask the same questions who base the world on their emotions. As for a sibling who bases their views on emotions, they often like questions of feeling. Anything that comes from the heart or soul will effortlessly connect with people who listen. Note how I said, “people who listen.”
This advice is for people who haven’t had any extreme beef with their siblings. If a sibling has done you wrong and broke you… leave it be. Accept the situation in what it is and don’t let the emotional turmoil grasp you. Blood doesn’t automatically mean Family.
Me (23). My brother (17). My Sister (9). All three of us have extremely different personalities that can cause extreme conflict with one another. Specifically my brother. My guilt comes from the lack of motivation to build a relationship with my younger brother. Personally, I struggle to connect with anyone who can’t have a deep conversation and get personal. My brother is more of a logical person and doesn’t see the world as I do. Which is completely fine, but a problem on my end. My belief in relationships/friendships is having conversations about the depths of the universe, parallels, energy around us, or why the fuck we’re here in this world. If I can’t have emotional conversations and deep thoughts within our personal lives my brain says “Why bother”?
How do I bond with my brother? Gaming. My brother and I connect by playing games together, talk about movies, music, and sometimes sports. We connect through things that let us meet in the middle. Spending time and making an effort is what brings me closer to my brother. Although, it’s a fact that me and my brother are completely different… I never dismiss him because of the way he is. Besides, as young as he is… he’s still trying to find himself. We all know that trying to find our passions is the hardest fucking thing to do on this goddamn planet. ANYWAYS…. I digress… The main thing I have in the back of my mind, is to remind myself that my brother is different from me.
My sister and I really don’t have a disconnection. We may be different but her view of the world is changing by the second. She’s growing to this intelligent little human and it actually shocks me. I usually spend time with her by making funny jokes and making her laugh. For right now, that’s all she ever wants from her older brother.
Focus on the things that are troubling your life. You can project negative energy upon your loved ones. Don’t ever think that not being close to your sibling is their fault. Don’t pretend your shit don’t stink. Really become selfless and ask questions that are uncomfortable to you. Fix yourself and learn to be open to your siblings. Give a piece of yourself so your siblings can give that same piece in return. Compromise! Learn how they operate. Learn their behavior. Learn what they desire most. I promise… the relationship will blossom and rise like the sunset as corny as that sounds.
Don’t wait to building a relationship with your siblings because they can be gone tomorrow. I almost lost my brother to a seizure when he was four years old. Sometimes… I take that for granted. Call them, meet them, spend time with them. Tell them you love them. Cherish them.
Maybe… you’ll make a new best friend.
